The Rod of Severed Heads

A pan was bubbling over the grease-caked stove in Lauretta's shed.
Lauretta was out in the woods with her favourite "walking buddies".
These were Lauretta's rod of severed heads and the left foot of a tramp she had devoured one fine Tuesday morning.
The rod of severed heads consisted of two human male heads, a rat head, a moose head, a mongoose head and a dog head.
One of the human heads had been stitched back together, as it had been split in two straight down the middle.
The head had been split whilst it was still attached to the body.
But that's another story.
Lauretta was thinking of returning home, as it was getting dark and she had forgotten her torch.
She heard some rustling in the bushes.
She made her way towards a clearing when she stumbled across a man and a much older woman having sex in the undergrowth.
Lauretta watched for a while, hoping that she could take the woman's place.
Suddenly the woman screamed and Lauretta, unprepared for such a delightful treat, backed away.
The man stood up and looked shocked.
"D'ya like ma heads?" asked Lauretta, beckoning the rod of severed heads towards the man.
In shock and disgust the man grabbed his jeans off the floor, and ran hard and fast away from the scene.
The woman screamed uncontrollably.
"There, there" said Lauretta sroking her head.
"Ppp-ppp-please don't ... huhhhhuurt me..." begged the woman.
Lauretta gave the woman the rat's head. "Eat up - is gooooood"...
The woman juggled the head and rapidly changed from looking at Lauretta and looking at the head and back again.
After looking up and down about a dozen times, she looked up to see that Lauretta had vanished!
Little would the woman know how close she had come to being brutally murdered.

Lauretta had headed back homewards.
She reached her shed just has night fell.
Shaking her head, she looked at the rod of severed heads.
"Naughty ratty. Why did you leave me?"
She lifted the lid off the pan which was now boiling over.
"There you go. On the rod" she hissed as she placed a kitten's head on the table.
Before severing it around the neck with the bottom of the rod.
"Good kitty. Say hello you your new friends."

Suddenly there was an enormous crash from the front door.
Lauretta turned round to see a man standing there in the darkness.
"Y-yyy-yyyou gotta ... gottta ... hellllp us..."
It was the man who had ran away previously.

Stepping into the vague candle light Lauretta playfully suggested "Come on in lovely man hunk. It is time for tea."
The man was stunned and routed to the spot.
He wanted to scream but was too scared to make a sound.
Moving forward, Lauretta squeezed the man's testicles through the front of his jeans.
With a swift motion Lauretta buried a drill into his right ear and applied pressure and the power.
The man gave out a horrible scream for about 5 seconds before silence fell.
Lauretta stood at the doorway with his tongue in her hand and a drill draped in blood.
The man slumped just inside the shed.
"Dinner is served" muttered Lauretta before slamming the door shut.

From outside the shed, crunching and snapping sounds could be heard...